STUDENT BLOOPERS

"The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."

"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water." "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars." "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas." "The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects."

"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."

"A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

"Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives." "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

- NEA Life Sciences Symposium, Kansas City, Kansas.

These comments come from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As the originator noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades."